You are hereby notified that electronic cigarettes are annoying and stupid. Either smoke or dont smoke, but dont pretend to smoke.
If a person has responded “What?” three times in a row, both parties are required to nod their heads and walk away.
If a man has a noticeable amount of male pattern baldness he is disallowed from securing his remaining hair in a ponytail.
A man cannot insert his hand into another mans pant pocket, under any circumstance, especially if he has been given permission to do so.
It is absolutely unacceptable for a straight man to have a spa day in lieu of, or as part of, a bachelor party.
If you attend this aforementioned day spa themed bachelor party you are endorsing and enabling the highest level of non-masculinity. You must not attend this event.
If you smoke a cigarette immediately before or after a workout, you are in complete and utter denial of your bad heatlh.
Acceptable forms of drawer closure include, but are not limited to:
Pushing with hand
Knocking with knee
Knocking with elbow